3 posts tagged “church”

The Church that Christ Intended: part two
Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged

Matthew 7:1-5

 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

Perhaps these verses cause confusion.  So, I will tell you a story.  At a small church in the backwoods there are two pew-sitters.  One is named Jake, the other is John.  Jake has a decent job, just moved out of his parents house, and is looking to get married.  John has been married for thirty-five years, also has a good job, and owns his own home.  Jake and John are good friends, since Jake sees John as someone he'd like to grow up to be.  Jake and John also deal with a lot of sin.  Jake deals with lust and frivolous spending.  He's often in bars on Friday nights.  John deals with pornography and has pissed away his savings on alcohol.
    Jake goes to John, asking how he can be holy.  John tears Jake a new rectum, telling him to stop wasting his money and stop going to bars, to pull his head out of his rear and think about the way this looks to any woman he might want to marry.  Jake goes home feeling guilty and hating himself for not being more sensible.  John goes home feeling a little self-righteous, until his wife goes to bed and he breaks out the bottle of Jack and logs on to the internet to browse and booze.
    One may look at this story and think, "oh, come on, it's not that extreme."
    Really?  Is it not?  Don't we often hate that which we are?  Don't we all take our turn beating down others so we can feel better about ourselves?  Isn't that the one thing that people most hate about Christianity?
    To paraphrase a well-used idiom: it's the hypocrisy, stupid.
    We do ourselves a grave disservice.  Note in the quoted text, where Jesus says, "by the same measure you use, it will be measured to you."  If we are willing to break someone's back over a petty sin, while hiding a huge one of ourselves, our own judgment grows exponentially.  If we act with unilateral compassion, we will receive the same in kind.  We not only serve God and others by acting with compassion, we serve ourselves.
    An example-
       Jesus was traveling through Samaria, a place considered "unclean" by Israel's law.  He and the disciples stop at a well to rest and find provisions.  While there, Jesus sees a woman coming.  Now, not only is she a Samaritan and thus considered beneath him, she is doubly wrong because she's a she.  Here is what follows:  (John 4:7-41 -slightly edited)

Jesus said to her, "Will you give me a drink?"
The Samaritan woman said to him, "You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?"
Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water."
"Sir," the woman said, "you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his flocks and herds?"
Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."
The woman said to him, "Sir, give me this water so that I won't get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water."
He told her, "Go, call your husband and come back."
"I have no husband," she replied.
Jesus said to her, "You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true."
"Sir," the woman said, "I can see that you are a prophet. Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem."
Jesus declared, "Believe me, woman, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem.  You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews.  Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."
The woman said, "I know that Messiah is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us."
Then Jesus declared, "I who speak to you am he."
Just then his disciples returned and were surprised to find him talking with a woman. But no one asked, "What do you want?" or "Why are you talking with her?"
Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people, "Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Christ?" They came out of the town and made their way toward him.
Meanwhile his disciples urged him, "Rabbi, eat something."
But he said to them, "I have food to eat that you know nothing about."
Then his disciples said to each other, "Could someone have brought him food?"
"My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. Do you not say, 'Four months more and then the harvest'? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. Even now the reaper draws his wages, even now he harvests the crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together. Thus the saying 'One sows and another reaps' is true. I sent you to reap what you have not worked for. Others have done the hard work, and you have reaped the benefits of their labor."
Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman's testimony, "He told me everything I ever did." So when the Samaritans came to him, they urged him to stay with them, and he stayed two days. And because of his words many more became believers.

    Jesus could have very well said, "I am holy and this woman is beneath me."  But, instead, he treated her with compassion, understanding and respect.  He was rewarded by faith being birthed in Samaria, and the woman instead of being an outcast became the mother of faith for her town.
    Would that we could learn such compassion and see such results!
    Back to our two flawed pew-sitters, Jake and John.  John did himself a disservice not only in being judgmental, but because he shut himself out of a true growth relationship.  Had John said, "I struggle as well, and this is where-" he and Jake could have held each other accountable, cried with each other, checked up on each other, shared messages with each other.  Instead he placed distance and guilt at the center of their friendship.  Instead of having a loving and mutually affirming relationship, their relationship became about power and fear.
    It is that power and that fear that has killed many a church.
    Be wary, Christians.  Judge not.

This Friday I have a meeting with my church's Pastor, Youth Oversight pastor (he just came into our church a few weeks ago, and will be overseeing all programs for anyone under 30- no small task!) and current Senior High Leader.

    This means, I must solidify my thoughts.  The meeting isn't necessarily about my future role with the church or the church's current program, but more of a bull session about what my ideal youth ministry would look like, and how what that gels with the expectations and practicality of what the church is looking for.

    So.  Since I'm a verbal processor and Spanky doesn't care to listen to me rant, I'm going to blog about my thoughts in order to get some clarity.

    My first, and most important, thought is that the Youth Ministry is the responsibility of the entire church.  There is NO WAY to have a vital ministry from the hours of six to eight every Wednesday with the occasional field trip or Sunday brunch.  The youth ministry is something that happens every day of every week, ESPECIALLY Sundays, and the entire church takes part.  It is about our expectation, attitude and commitment.
    The Youth leader and parents work as a team.  This means that they inform each other and are accountable to each other.  This means regular meetings (every other month?) where the parents (as a group) and Youth Leader discuss the progress of the youth group.  There should also be meetings between specific parents and the youth leader to discuss the spiritual health of their child.  When necessary, there should be training available for parents.  If there is a drug or alcohol problem, or one of the kids is known to be having sex, all of the parents should be made aware of the fact that there is an issue (WITHOUT betraying the trust of the kid) and instruction should be available if they don't know how to breach the subject with their child.
    The cold truth is that kids will be accountable to their parents and their youth leader in very different ways.  Youth pastors are often either seen as *ahem* cool and on the side of the kids AGAINST the parents, or uncool and on the parent's side against the kid.  The trickiest part of being a youth minister is walking the fine line between those two.  That requires regular, healthy interaction with the parent as well as a personal relationship with the child.
    Being a Youth Leader is a full-time job, unless there is a fully functional team that works together and has good contact.  If there is a youth leadership team, they should have regular meetings to discuss the children and the following month's teachings.  If there is a team, they should also divide responsibility for specific kids and regularly call or email the children who they are mentoring.  It is really about relationships, not teaching.  If you foster a relationship the words you say carry added weight.
    Teaching materials are utter crap.  Teachings should be centered around the problems that the kids are facing, their needs and their interests.  If they feel a line of teaching isn't connecting or isn't important, that should be tailored to meet their desires.  Most kids DO want to learn, they are thirsty for personalized messages and when they know you are teaching out of a desire to meet a specific need you see in them, they will listen.  Personal stories and experiences are a must.  If you are teaching about sex and you have had sex, don't sidestep around the issue.  If you've done drugs or have drank or have known someone who has, do not sidestep around the issue.  If you say, "drinking is evil" and then dodge answering a question as to whether or not you have, you will have just trashed any hope you have of your words having meaning.  If you say, "yes," and explain yourself, that will matter.  As long as you aren't being a big stupid hypocrite.
    The first and best method of teaching is always by example.  Do not distance yourself.  Get involved.  Put yourself on the line.  The kids will see, respect, and appreciate you for it.
    There's nothing wrong with movie or game nights, as long as they don't outweigh the importance put on teaching, discipline and prayer.
    You can be a friend and a mentor, but it's not a fifty/fifty split.  Mentor first, hold hands after.
    The budget should always reflect the church's dedication.  Kids are savvy.  If they see less decoration, less snacks, and less activities being sent their way than the way of the church's other programs, they will perceive that as a testament to their importance.  And know what?  They'd be right.

    Well, those are my thoughts.  Yes, I realize they're scattered.

There are Christian Buzz words that make me want to stand up and scream profanity just to clear my head.  Yes, I realize that is another one of my quirks that probably makes me a bad Christian.  It's just the way I am.  I find it easy to be compassionate to people who are still out there and struggling.  When it comes to self-confessed believers my patience just goes.

I can't think of anything to blog about today.  So, I'll do a laundry list of buzz words and why they bother me.

BELIEVER:

    James 2:19
       You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.

Why do we call ourselves "believers"?  Just the fact that we believe in something does not make us special.  After all, the Bible makes it pretty clear that Satan is a "believer", too.  I also get annoyed when people refer to the "brethren".  I know we're all supposed to be brothers and sisters in Christ, but that sort of terminology annoys me as well.  Especially things like "Church Family."  When people talk about their "Church Family" I just think...  Oh, God, here we go.  Another person who is so into their church they probably don't know anyone who isn't a Christian... 
    The problem, I suppose, isn't with the language itself.  It's more with the attitude.  We have made the Church our home, to the exclusion of all of those who aren't part of "the Family".  I also sometimes imagine Pastors speaking in overdone Italian accents, saying things like, "go against the Family and you will BURN!"

THE LOST:
   
    *ahem* Believers often refer those who don't 'believe' as the Lost.  This bothers me.  Lost?  Do you really think they are lost?  Are they sitting in their living room scratching their heads and asking how the heck they got there?  Are you kidding me?  Most of the Lost know exactly where they are and are perfectly happy there.  Brian McLaren, notable Christian author (I say that because he's worth noticing, he's actually rather good) says that he would rather say that they are "missing", as in that we miss them.
     I like that better.
    Or we could be honest about how we feel and call them dirty-low-down heathen scoundrels.  Or go back to Tent speak and call them "those in danger of perdition."  Or we could stop talking about them in those kinds of terms and just refer to, "you know, the rest of the world."

INTENTIONAL COMMUNITY:

    The reason this bothers me is because we actually feel the need to TALK about INTENTIONALLY living together.  If we don't do it intentionally, will we forget to have community?  Do we not like each other enough to not do it without especially devoting thought to it?
    And, Dear God, what if we UNintentionally find ourselves in community? Is that bad?
    And then we need to figure out what community is.  I'm not kidding.  There are leadership focus meetings to talk about what community is and how to find it.  Most people don't seem bothered by the fact that Christians, the people who are supposed to love as Christ himself loved, don't seem to know how to live together.
    God Help Us.

RELATIONAL:

    We are encouraged to find ways to be "relational" with each other and the Lost.  This bothers me, because it is proof that for a very long time relationships came last.  I believe that our priorities should flow thusly:

God-Love-Relationships-Life-Love-Evangelism-Love---etc---fear of Hell should not be a factor

    For a very long time, priorities went like:

Fear of Hell-God-Fear of Hell-Evangelism-Fear of Hell-Relationships-Fear of Hell---etc---who has time to love anybody?

   Do I really need to point out how messed up that is?

UNPACKING:

    Oh.  Man.  I HATE that word.  "Unpacking" is what pastors have started to call a close examination of a word, phrase, metaphor, etc.  Let me give an example.
    See Spot.  See Spot Run.  Run, Spot, Run.
    Let's "unpack."  The first word is see, which means to visualize.  We are meant to visualize Spot.  What is Spot?  An animal, probably a dog, one can reasonably infer that Spot has, you know, spots.  The following sentence tells us to see Spot run.  That means that we- all of us- are meant to see that Spot is moving quickly.  This is what we are commanded to do.  The next command is to Spot himself, to continue running!  Now, what if we all put ourselves in Spots position?  We are commanded to see ourselves, running.  Why are we running?  From what?  To what?  Well, we're running from our Godless pasts towards our futures in Christ.  Look at us all, on our Christ-Journey!  Go, us, go!
    Wow!
    DEAR GOD MAKE IT STOP.  We do not need to "unpack" everything.  Not everything requires or even benefits from such close examination.  And half the time, when pastors unpack a verse all they are really finding is their own interpretation, and it's dishnest to pretend that if all of us looked that closely it's what we'd all find on our own.
    Just.  Make.  It.  Stop.